


Culinary Customs

by CrystalRebellion



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien cuisine, Alteans don't know what pizza is, Cooking, Cooking Fluff, Crack Fluff, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22767469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalRebellion/pseuds/CrystalRebellion
Summary: In the early days of the Galtean Alliance, after a weary day of research, Emperor Lotor and Princess Allura are confronted by a strange culinary custom from the Paladins from Earth.  With a little urging, Hunk manages to introduce the couple to one of the staples of their home planet.  Utter crack-fluff.
Relationships: Allura/Lotor (Voltron)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 36





	Culinary Customs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [garbage_dono](https://archiveofourown.org/users/garbage_dono/gifts).



> Originally written for Garbage-Dono.  
> Disclaimer: This was written back in 2018 - I'm fairly certain posted around tumblr, so it isn't new. I just realized I don't think I had ever added it here.

“Is that the number there?” Allura pointed over Lotor’s hand to the datapad he was carrying. He looked at the screen where she indicated.

“I believe so,” he nodded.

While the princess glided beside him, studying the information he had procured, he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. As she withdrew her hand to fold in front of her, she accidentally brushed his forearm lightly.

Allura froze at the spark that flared under her skin, searing through her shoulder to her chest.

“Allura?”

Her name on his lips only restarted her heart in double-time as she struggled to regain her composure.

_Stars, where did that come from?_

She glanced up at him, realizing he had asked her a question. She flushed and plastered a smile on her face, quickly hiding behind a mask of diplomatic dignity.

“Nothing, my mind just wandered briefly,” she replied, reaching up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear absentmindedly.

“Where did it wander to?”

Her eyes flitted to the datapad in his hand still; the screen dark as his attention had shifted to her. She glanced down the empty corridor around them before returning her gaze to his. Electric cobalt never wavered. Allura stepped back, stunned by the intensity of his look.

His eyes pinned her to the spot and the princess felt as though she might drown under the focus. Slowing her staccato pulse, she took a confident step toward him and reclaimed the ground she had lost in her surprise.

“Details,” she offered, unable to articulate any better the hummingbird in her ribcage whenever he looked at her.

“On?” He pressed, turning to face her completely and tucking the dormant screen under his left arm. The movement broke her concentration as the single rivulet of silvered hair fluttered as if bound by its own gravity.

Transfixed, she reached toward it as it hovered between their faces. Realizing what she was doing, her eyes popped wide and she froze, fingertips only a breath from the strands.

“I… my apologies, I don’t…” Her cheeks flushed bright red at her uncharacteristic lack of self-control. Lotor hesitated a tick before taking a half step forward, the weightless lock moving between her digits, bridging the distance she hesitated to claim. Allura couldn’t stop the childlike wonder that flooded her as the silk danced within her delicate touch.

“It’s so soft,” she murmured before she could catch herself, utterly transfixed by his elegance, down to the literal fibers of his very being.

“So it is.” Allura gasped when she realized he had reached forward and was gently rolling a lock of her own hair between his thumb and index finger.

“What… what are we doing?” Allura’s bottom lip trembled slightly as he stepped closer. Lotor’s tendrils slipped from her fingers as her palm came to rest against the shimmering finish of his plated chest. He released her hair and allowed his knuckles to deftly brush up the soft fabric of her dress, tracing the contour of her arm to her shoulder, ending in a delicate touch to the pink crescent just beneath her right eye.

The gesture was so gentle it was nearly painful and the princess quivered slightly, staggeringly aware of how close they had grown in so little time.

“This is… unknown,” he murmured softly, his head lowering toward her. Allura swallowed, unable to break her gaze from his. Lotor’s hand uncurled on her cheek and deftly stroked her skin, reveling in the warmth she radiated. Allura’s eyes draped closed in a dreamy exhale.

His breath was warm and sweet on her lips, hesitant and hovering. Allura felt her own courage wane, just a fraction of space between them, and neither seemed able to cover the distance. The unspoken heat vibrated.

Allura steeled herself to reach for him, curious for more…

A loud crash sounded from down the hall.

She blinked at the empty space in her arms, the Emperor far quicker to leap into action than herself. _As if he’s spent millennia waiting for combat…_ She blinked and tilted her head to the side, studying the man as he took a defensive stance and crept out the door and down the hallway toward the source of the sound. His body radiated a stillness that belied a sense of calmness, but he moved carefully.

_Gracefully._

She blushed, quickly snapping out of her daze and followed behind him. While she lacked her Paladin armor, she was more than prepared to swing a fist if needed. His gaze slid to her out of the corner of his eye as she jogged to his side. She smiled up at him.

“It’s probably nothing,” she encouraged. His eyes returned forward and they turned a corner cautiously. 

The passage was empty. 

Allura blinked and folded her arms over her chest.

“What do you-” She stopped mid-thought when he placed a finger to his lips. With the stealth of a feline, he moved down the corridor. Allura’s ear twitched as she caught what Lotor had heard. 

_Whispers._

Light spilled from an open doorway into the hall, and the dyad peered cautiously into the room.

“See? I _told_ you they’d hear that, Hunk,” Lance said sharply, blinking from Allura and Lotor’s curious gazes toward the yellow Paladin.

“I said I was sorry,” he muttered sheepishly.

“What… what is going on?” Allura was the first to step fully into the room, looking around the kitchen. Hunk was wearing an apron distinctly resembling a Yellow Lion, complete with adornments of ears and a tail stitched to the sides, and he appeared to be covered in white powder. Lance was perched nonchalantly on one of the counters, holding a bag of something heavy in between both hands.

“We, well, see… Lance and I… there was a thing… and we did this thing… and we found-”

“What Hunk is trying to say, Princess,” Pidge piped up from where she was joining them from a storage pantry. “We were at the Space Mall and they had a colossal Farmer’s Market. Not just chefs – but the people who grow the stuff from their home planets.” She adjusted her glasses and grinned.

“I do not understand,” Allura replied.

“Farmers from _all_ over the stars,” Pidge hinted hopefully.

Allura saw Lance’s face darken as Lotor stepped into the room beside her.

“Are you saying you’ve found some items from your homeworld, Paladin?” Lotor’s tone was genuinely incredulous and full of curiosity.

“... _from your homeworld, Paladin?_ ” Lance muttered in a soft voice, mimicking Lotor’s accent with terrible skill and grace.

“ _Lance!_ ” Allura glared at him, pressing her fingertips to her temple in irritation. 

The pilot had the decency to look properly chagrined, but it was short-lived as he returned his smile on Allura.

“As it turns out, yes! Or at least, some things close enough for us to work with.”

“Work with for what, precisely?” Her brow arched warily.

“Allow us to show you,” Lance said, sliding off the counter to approach, putting a hand on her shoulder as he guided her toward the counter. He tossed a childish look past her at Lotor who only blinked in response before following the princess, otherwise unimpressed, palms folded politely behind his back.

“So…?”

“We wanted to make something you’ve never tried before – and, also something we’ve all… kind of missed a lot,” Hunk admitted as Allura glanced across the cluttered workspace, bowls, dishes and assorted foods spaced out.

“What is this one?” Allura plucked up a vibrant, red sphere. The skin of the article was taut and smooth and it fit delicately in her palm, a green tuft of foliage springing from the top.

“It’s a fruit! Try it,” Lance nudged her side. She stared at it for a moment.

“Lance, dude,” Hunk began, but Allura had already bit into the fruit, eager to indulge in new cultures.

“Stars! That’s horrid,” she gasped out, holding it out away from her. “Is all your fruit so… so tart? Any I’ve ever had were sweet! Do you want to give it a go? Perhaps it’s just me.” She extended her palm toward Lotor, who plucked the trial from her.

He sniffed it before taking a small bite near where Allura had before politely setting it back on the counter, his nose wrinkled slightly.

“I do not understand why he’s laughing,” Allura pointed to where Lance was doubled over, clutching his sides.

Pidge only sighed in response.

“It’s called a tomato, Princess. No, our fruit normally doesn’t taste like that. Tomatoes are… fruit by strict scientific definition only. They are not eaten nor cooked with in the same manner as most others would be.”

“Are you quite finished?” She tossed a lazy look Lance’s way and he quieted down, still grinning, ever proud of himself.

“Anyway, in just a few more minutes-”

“Doboshes,” Pidge corrected. Lance stared, unimpressed.

“-the food will be done,” Hunk finished quickly, smiling hopefully at the royals in the kitchen.

Allura only exchanged a blank look with Lotor before looking back to the Paladins.

“Is it… the tomato?”

“Kind of…” Lance answered. “It’s a part of it… anyway,” he grinned.

“We made you pizza!” Hunk threw his hands up in the air, unable to hold back his excitement.

“Dude, I wanted to draw out the drama some more,” Lance whined. “Make it all exciting! Get them salivating for it!”

Allura blinked.

“And you thought the best way to do that was to feed us your… not-a-fruit fruit?” Lotor gestured gingerly to the half-eaten tomato on the counter.

“Hey, I didn’t ask you,” Lance muttered.

“Pizza!” Hunk exclaimed again, clapping his oven-mitted hands together softly, bouncing in place. “It’s in the oven now – these were just the leftovers.”

“This is flour,” Pidge pointed to the white powder scattered across the floor.

“Are your culinary dishes normally prepared on the floor?” Allura’s eyes grazed the soiled ground.

“Their sanitation techniques must be exquisite,” Lotor commented thoughtfully to her, eliciting a noise of agreement from the princess.

“No,” Lance replied. “It just… it gets everywhere, okay? It’s made on the counter like everything else!” Allura nodded, her interested in alien cuisine piqued.

Lotor’s hand reached out and touched the white substance and rubbed it between his thumb and middle finger curiously, the white powder glistening against the dark color of his undersuit.

“What type of flower? Or will any do?”

“Any… …what? _What_ are you talking about?” Lance frowned at the half-Altean in confusion.

“I got this,” Pidge explained, quickly seeing the language issue.

“Flour – not the same thing as the blooming part of plants. Flour is ground from grains.”

“Oh,” Allura nodded, as if in understanding. “It… makes your breads, then?”

“And excellent ammunition!” Lance launched the bag he had been holding across the room at Pidge. While she caught the bag easily enough, a cloud _poofed_ around her, coating her in white in a manner similar to Hunk.

“So it is also a weapon,” Allura queried, trading a confused look with Lotor at her side. He quickly pulled out the datapad he had been carrying and turned it on, tapping rapidly across it. Allura leaned in to peer over his side.

Pidge palmed her face.

“Guys, you’re making it really hard for them to follow this,” she said with exasperation. “No, it’s not a weapon, unless you’re Lance. It’s just… it’s a starch,” she clarified. The nod that the royals shared was more confident than the prior one.

“So this pizza of yours… it is a bread.”

“Kind of,” she grinned, continuing to explain while Hunk and Lance kept trading the bag of flour back and forth behind her. “The base is bread, and then the tomatoes are blended with other spices and seasonings to create a sauce. On top of the sauce, there are additives, and those can be purely personal. Everything from cheese to meats to vegetables,” she explained. “Some people even like other _fruits_ ,” she whispered conspiratorially.

“Anyway, we found enough of these ingredients at this market – or at least close enough to them – to be able to recreate this dish,” Hunk explained. “And – _oof_ ,” he caught the flour bag in his stomach and opted to set it aside on the counter rather than return it to Lance.

Allura tilted her head to the side curiously as the timer chimed and Hunk danced to the furnace. Lowering the door, he reached in and withdrew the pan.

“It’s…” The princess trailed off, shocked.

“-flat,” Lotor finished for her, both looking equally surprised when Hunk brandished the Earth delicacy before him.

“Of course it’s flat! What did you expect pizza to look like?” Lance stared incredulously at the royals.

“Lance… I… I do not know what pizza is. I expected… bread, as you described it… leavened and perhaps…” She trailed off, turning to her equally confused companion who nodded.

“A bowl of sorts carved from it, for a type of soup, from this… tomato-fruit you have,” he added, gesturing to the red vine plant. “Is that not what you described? With the _accoutrements_ of choice added?”

Silence descended on the kitchen as the two races stared at each other in disbelief at the bizarre culinary barrier between them.

Hunk broke the stillness with a low whistle.

“Why don’t you two just _try_ it,” he suggested helpfully, brandishing a round cutter, quickly slicing the dish into several pieces while Pidge joined them at the counter with plates. He garnished the tops of two slices with a dusting of yellowed powder and reddish flakes, adding a vibrant green leaf to the side before presenting the plates to Allura and Lotor.

After exchanging a look, they reached forward and took the proffered plates.

“It smells… _fascinating_ ,”Allura murmured. Delicately she took a bite of her slice.

“Wait!” Pidge waved her hands suddenly. “You have to let it-” She froze, wide-eyed when Allura paused mid-chew to regard her curiously. “…cool. Isn’t it hot?”

Lotor and Allura both shook their heads before inhaling another bite.

“Alteans, remember?” Hunk reminded them with a cheerful shrug.

Allura set her plate down and pressed her hands together in front of her face thoughtfully as she contemplated the exotic meal.

“How peculiar,” Lotor commented, thoughtfully.

“Agreed,” she said, turning to look at him and nodded. “It… it has many flavors, all at once. You’re correct, Pidge, your… tomato-fruit is much more palatable when reduced to a paste,” she added.

“Do you like it…?” Hunk leaned forward curiously. Allura looked back to him and nodded.

“It’s different than anything I’ve experienced before, but I find it fascinating,” she complimented, much to Hunk’s delight.

“And you, Emperor?” As Hunk glanced to the half-Galran, Lance snorted in the background.

“It’s unusual. I think your planet has many strange and vibrant spices. The blend is masterfully done, it must take a true artist to understand the delicate balance of all the parts coming together in a whole, meshing in perfect harmony.”

“….Dude, did you just describe pizza like Voltron?” Lance quirked an eyebrow at the taller man, but it was Allura who chimed in excitedly.

“Perhaps your pizza _is_ like Voltron!”

“I mean, I don’t know if I’d go _that_ far,” Hunk shrugged shyly, floundering under the praise.

“There _was_ one element that I didn’t quite care for,” she murmured, peering at the slice, trying to hunt out the single ingredient in the cacophony that had struck an ill chord with her taste buds.

“Oh man,” Hunk whimpered softly. “It’s the cheese, isn’t it?”

“Why? What is cheese?” Her eyes shot up to him, wide and curious. The Paladins went very still when she studied them. “Well? What is it?”

“The uh, the cheese is this part, that the toppings are all on,” Hunk said carefully.

“Oh, no, I found that quite delightful, I think I would like to have more of it,” she said dismissively, looking back to the slice. Lance and Hunk exchanged pensive looks, Lance signaling to the chef to keep his mouth shut on its origins.

Lotor leaned over, watching her delicately nudge parts around, her finger poking into the sauce.

“This,” she said, brandishing a very slender white piece. “What do you call this?”

“That’s… that’s garlic. How did you pick that one piece out of the entire pizza?”

“Altean taste buds are incredibly precise. What did you think?” She brandished the sliver toward Lotor. He leaned in and sniffed it and shook her head, wincing away from it.

“Too strong,” he agreed.

“I don’t like it, either,” Allura confirmed, turning back to three, very shocked Paladins.

“You don’t like _garlic_?” Lance stared, dumbstruck at the couple. “ _Everyone_ likes garlic! What are you, _aliens_?”

“Uh… Lance?” Hunk raised his finger to interject. “…they kind of… are… exactly… that?”

Allura giggled.

“All said, it was delightful Hunk, thank you all for sharing the customs of your homeworld with me. I think I would very much like to visit someday and learn about your people and their traditions. Exploration is fascinating.”

She turned and glanced to Lotor as the Paladins served themselves slices and devoured the much-missed food.

“Oh, you have…” she reached up toward his face and brushed a droplet of sauce from his cheek. He caught her wrist delicately in his hand and brought her fingertip to his lips, tasting the survivor of his meal. Allura blushed, barely aware of Lance’s choke of indignation.

“Shall we explore further, Princess?” He smiled politely down at Allura as her arm dropped to her side and she nodded.

“Yes, I believe I would like that.”

With a delicate lace of her hand through his elbow, Lotor escorted her from the kitchen, leaving the Paladins to their own devices.

“I would like that, as well,” the Emperor concurred.

**Author's Note:**

> I will say this much. I judge no one by their preference in pizza. I admit that I am a heathen who likes pineapple on my pizza. (If you find this horrifying, just think; it's that much less pineapple for *your* pizza. ;) )


End file.
